Teenagers, Pit Stops, and Play Therapy

"Developmentally, the process where we travel from a world where we do not have to think about who we are or what we do (childhood) toward a destination where we must have the confidence that we can not only survive but also thrive in the multiple relationships and expectations of adult society....[Adolescence is] the overall task of moving out of childhood and preparing to engage in mainstream society as a peer with other adults." Chap Clark, D. Clark (2007). Disconnected Parenting: Teens in a MySpace World.

What a task and a road ahead for a teenager!  This road consisting of life events and experiences coupled with experiences of the past and paired with expectations and possibly fears of the future significantly affects adolescents. The emotional, physical, and hormonal changes of adolescents will alter the headlights of that adolescent vehicle and impact a teenager's ability to process and interpret social interactions. Further more, the challenges a teen with special needs has may be magnified during this developmental stage. 

Any adolescent is fully capable of navigating through this road trip, especially with the support of peer relationships, parent involvement, and a developing positive image.

You, as parents, are fully capable of supporting your adolescent during this adventure. Pack your bags with suitcases labeled "my child" rather than "my child's problems." "The present" rather than "the past." "Feelings." "Understanding." "Accepting." As soon as you see yourself capable of this adventure, you will begin to see your teenager as capable of this adventure.

Relationships then, (with peers, parents, caregivers) are the vehicle for change. Conveying these messages to your teen "I am here," "I hear you," "I understand," and "I care" will equip your teen to recover from the bumps in the road or to get back on track from a detour. (Messages taken from Child Parent Relationship Therapy: A 10 Session Filial Therapy Model by Landreth, G., & Bratton, S.)

Reality is that we have to service our vehicles. Sometimes getting your vehicle serviced means taking it into the shop to a professional. 1 in 5 adolescents will experience significant symptoms of emotional distress (Report on Adolescent Health: cdcinfo@cdc.gov).

Teenagers are likely to feel reluctant, suspicious, worried, intimidated, or even weird going to a professional such as a counselor. That is why the metaphor of taking a car into the shop or a "pit" stop to be able to get back on track is effective when talking to teens.

"Play" provides a metaphor for teenagers to safely express what is bothering them without really having to talk about it. Play therapy with adolescents does not involve sitting on the floor together with a counselor playing baby dolls or army men. In play therapy with adolescents, the teen has the control what to reveal or keep hidden. Using play, sandtray figures, and expressive techniques will stimulate the teenager's desire and need to be expressive and create identity--which is central to this developmental stage. The positive therapeutic relationship that develops between a teenager and a counselor brings healing, forward movement, and relief of emotional stress. 

At The Playroom Lubbock we have Kelly Martin, a licensed professional counselor and registered play therapist trained in play therapy. She has  a "playroom" designed for play or activity therapy for preteens and teens.  

Providing optimal and collaborative therapy solutions for kids--of any age. Of any ability.  

Flipping Your Lid

Neuroscience is a 'Piece of Cake'

Flipping a lid. Blowing a gasket. Freaking out. Having a cow. Losing your cool. You've heard similar (or worse) idioms. Scientifically, what we intend to say is that our emotions are overriding our prefrontal cortex. Dr. Dan Siegel illustrates the brain using the Hand Model of the Brain and gives us insight into flipping our lids in his book The Whole Brain Child. When parents and children notice and begin to understand the brain, they can change what the brain does.

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When the prefrontal cortex is engaged and hugging the limbic system nice and snug (closed fist), we are in tuned to others, flexible, and balanced. Our emotions are regulated. When our limbic system (which controls our emotions) feels threatened or when our "buttons are pushed," it overrides the prefrontal cortex. At this point, the prefrontal cortex can no longer respond because the brain stem and limbic system are reacting--which can be frightening to those around us. We lose reasoning.  We lose flexibility. This is where we "flip our lid." (See open hand). A fight/flight/freeze response is on the brink of occurring which in turn may trigger someone else's lid to flip.

Making a Repair

When we realize our emotions are creeping up and pushing on that "lid," we can make a repair. "Name it to tame it" is the secret password to "hold your horses" and engage the prefrontal cortex to respond appropriately and functionally. Both adults and children can learn to identify what the feeling is like just before their lid flips, and in turn, identify what action to take to make a repair: taking a break? breathing? counting? blowing bubbles?  Name that feeling. Name that emotional reaction bubbling up and tame it.

Find empathy

When we notice someone (perhaps your child) has "flipped his lid" it can help to understand that person's point of view. What is this person experiencing? What is this child feeling? How can I show this person that I hear and understand what he/she is saying and feeling? This shift of perspective creates empathy and a safe, nonjudgmental avenue for that person to tame the emotion and "put a leash on it."

The New Playroom On the Block

Why "The Playroom Lubbock?" Because kids identify with the word "play" based upon their concept of the meaning of "play." And "playroom" to a kid means a room full of play. How great is that?! How is The Playroom Lubbock like any other youth gym or childcare? It's not. At The Playroom Lubbock, we will provide optimal and collaborative therapy solutions to children and adolescents to address their mental health, cognitive, physical, emotional, social, behavioral, or communication needs so that they can function at the highest level at home, in school, and in the community.

Our therapy services will include play therapy and counseling. Licensed therapists utilize "play" techniques in "playrooms." When a parent, caregiver, or therapist says to a child, "It's time to go to 'The Playroom," hopefully the child will feel a sense of comfort and familiarity.

As the new playroom on the block, we look forward to serving the community of Lubbock and surrounding areas.